Life Lessons

During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank, “Don’t move! The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you.”

• Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called “Mind Changing Concept.” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her, “Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!”

• This is called “Being Professional.” Focus only on what you are trained to do.

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school), “Big brother, let’s count how much we got.”

The older robber said, “You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!”

• This is called “Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications.

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him, “Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank.”

• This is called “Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage.

The supervisor said, “It will be good if there is a robbery every month.”

• This is called “Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained, “We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!”

• This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as gold.”

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

• This is called “Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks.

Simplifying English Spelling

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, S will be used instead of the soft C. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard C will be replaced with K. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

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Werner Heisenberg, Erwin Schrödinger, and Georg Ohm Were Traveling in a Car…

Werner Heisenberg, Erwin Schrödinger, and Georg Ohm were traveling in a car when they got pulled over. Heisenberg was driving. The cop asked him, “Do you know how fast you were going?”

“No,” Heisenberg replied. “But I know where I am.”

The cop said, “You were doing 55 in a 35 zone.”

Heisenberg threw up his arms and shouted, “Great! Now I’m lost!”

The cop thought that was suspicious and ordered him to pop open the trunk. He checked it out and said, “Do you know you have a dead cat back here?”

“We do now, asshole!” shouted Schrödinger.

The cop moved to arrest the three physicists, but Ohm resisted.


Further Reading

Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle
Schrödinger’s cat
Ohm’s law

The Interrobang Character “‽” Was Used in a Court Opinion

Interrobang

Interrobang

The interrobang character “‽” was used in a court opinion on June 13, 2012.

The interrobang, also known as the interabang, is a nonstandard punctuation mark used in various written languages and intended to combine the functions of the question mark (also called the “interrogative point”) and the exclamation mark or exclamation point (known in printers’ and programmers’ jargon as the “bang”). The glyph is a superimposition of these two marks.

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The Great Democracy Scam of 2016

Some Great Quotes

Rather than a democracy, we increasingly have an elective dictatorship. People are merely permitted to choose who will violate the laws and trample the Constitution.

— James Bovard, in The Great Democracy Scam of 2016, September 29, 2016.

Election results are often only a one-day snapshot of transient mass delusions.

— James Bovard, in The Great Democracy Scam of 2016, September 29, 2016.

But the Constitution has long since vanished from the campaign trail, replaced by competing promises of new handouts and fiercer attacks on imagined perils.

— James Bovard, in The Great Democracy Scam of 2016, September 29, 2016.

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John Adams: “There is nothing I dread So much, as a Division of the Republick into two great Parties…”

There is nothing I dread So much, as a Division of the Republick into two great Parties, each arranged under its Leader, and concerting Measures in opposition to each other. This, in my humble Apprehension is to be dreaded as the greatest political Evil, under our Constitution.

— John Adams, in letter to Jonathan Jackson, October 2, 1780.

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How to Steal $75,000 from the Poor in One Day’s Work

This work is licensed by the Foundation for Economic Education under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License (CC BY 4.0).


How to Steal $75,000 from the Poor in One Day’s Work

By Jeffrey Tucker

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The new liberality concerning marijuana possession in the United States is long overdue, but let’s not exaggerate how much progress we’ve made. Users might not be ending up in jail as frequently as they did 10 years ago. But cops, judges, and courts still exercise arbitrary power to ruin people’s lives, and they continue to do so at astonishing rates, all over the country.

I recently saw this firsthand. I sat in a municipal traffic court from 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m., awaiting my own time with the judge for a petty moving violation. I was there with 150 other people, gathering cobwebs as the judge took his sweet time and shamed people as they stood at the bench and humbly submitted to his rule.

No phones or computers are allowed in court. My iPad was not allowed, either. Once you enter through the metal detector, you are trapped for the duration. There is no contacting anyone. For most people today, this would be the only time in their lives when such contact is forbidden. This rule contributes to the feeling of being controlled by and subjected to power.

You just have to wait your turn, even if it takes eight hours. So there we sat.

Not one person in this courtroom had harmed anyone. Not one. They had not stolen anything, had not mugged anyone, had not caused any car wrecks. And yet there they were, facing torment at the hands of a judge drunk on power and a criminal-justice system that is out of control.

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Cave Johnson: “When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade…”

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

— Cave Johnson, founder and CEO of Aperture Science, in Portal 2

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Emulating the Linux tail Command Using Windows PowerShell

This post is still in progress.

If you’ve ever developed software on a Linux system, you’ve no doubt used the tail command to print out lines as they are added to the end of a log file. The tail command is used something like this:

$ tail -f /var/log/mylogfile.log

You can accomplish the same task using Windows PowerShell. At the shell prompt, use the Get-Content cmdlet. (Cmdlets are what commands are called in the PowerShell environment). The syntax is fairly simple.

> get-content mylogfile.log –wait

Get-Content is …

mylogfile.log is the name of the log file.

-wait is …

You can also use gc, cat, and type as aliases for Get-Content.

> gc mylogfile.log –wait
> cat mylogfile.log –wait
> type mylogfile.log –wait

You can also filter the log right at the command line using regular expressions:

> get-content mylogfile.log -wait | where { $_ -match "ERROR" }

More Information

Using the Get-Content Cmdlet”. Microsoft Technet.