Monthly Archives: October 2016

Simplifying English Spelling

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, S will be used instead of the soft C. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard C will be replaced with K. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

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Werner Heisenberg, Erwin Schrödinger, and Georg Ohm Were Traveling in a Car…

Werner Heisenberg, Erwin Schrödinger, and Georg Ohm were traveling in a car when they got pulled over. Heisenberg was driving. The cop asked him, “Do you know how fast you were going?”

“No,” Heisenberg replied. “But I know where I am.”

The cop said, “You were doing 55 in a 35 zone.”

Heisenberg threw up his arms and shouted, “Great! Now I’m lost!”

The cop thought that was suspicious and ordered him to pop open the trunk. He checked it out and said, “Do you know you have a dead cat back here?”

“We do now, asshole!” shouted Schrödinger.

The cop moved to arrest the three physicists, but Ohm resisted.


Further Reading

Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle
Schrödinger’s cat
Ohm’s law

The Interrobang Character “‽” Was Used in a Court Opinion

Interrobang

Interrobang

The interrobang character “‽” was used in a court opinion on June 13, 2012.

The interrobang, also known as the interabang, is a nonstandard punctuation mark used in various written languages and intended to combine the functions of the question mark (also called the “interrogative point”) and the exclamation mark or exclamation point (known in printers’ and programmers’ jargon as the “bang”). The glyph is a superimposition of these two marks.

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