Category Archives: Entertainment

Peter Piper’s Practical Principles of Plain and Perfect Pronunciation (1836)

Adeline in her garden.

Adeline in her garden.


PETER PIPER’S
PRACTICAL PRINCIPLES
OF
PLAIN AND PERFECT
PRONUNCIATION

 

 

PHILADELPHIA:
Willard Johnson, No. 141, South Street
1836.


PREFACE.

Peter Piper, without Pretension to Precocity or Profoundness, Puts Pen to Paper to Produce these Puzzling Pages, Purposely to Please the Palates of Pretty Prattling Playfellows, Proudly Presuming that with Proper Penetration it will Probably, and Perhaps Positively, Prove a Peculiarly Pleasant and Profitable Path to Proper, Plain and Precise Pronunciation.

He Prays Parents to Purchase this Playful Performance, Partly to Pay him for his Patience and Pains; Partly to Provide for the Printers and Publishers; but Principally to Prevent the Pernicious Prevalence of Perverse Pronunciation.


A     a

Andrew Airpump

Andrew Airpump

Andrew Airpump ask’d his Aunt her ailment;
Did Andrew Airpump ask his Aunt her ailment?
If Andrew Airpump ask’d his Aunt her ailment,
Where was the Ailment of Andrew Airpump’s Aunt?

B     b

Billy Button

Billy Button

Billy Button bought a butter’d Biscuit:
Did Billy Button buy a butter’d Biscuit?
If Billy Button bought a butter’d Biscuit,
Where’s the butter’d Biscuit Billy Button bought?

C     c

Captain Crackskull

Captain Crackskull

Captain Crackskull crack’d a Catchpoll’s Cockscomb:
Did Captain Crackskull crack a Catchpoll’s Cockscomb?
If Captain Crackskull crack’d a Catchpoll’s Cockscomb,
Where’s the Catchpoll’s Cockscomb Captain Crackskull crack’d?

D     d

Davy Dolldrum

Davy Dolldrum

Davy Dolldrum dream’d he drove a Dragon:
Did Davy Dolldrum dream he drove a dragon?
If Davy Dolldrum dream’d he drove a dragon
Where’s the dragon Davy Dolldrum dream’d he drove?

E     e

Enoch Elkrig

Enoch Elkrig

Enoch Elkrig ate an empty Eggshell:
Did Enoch Elkrig eat an empty Eggshell?
If Enoch Elkrig ate an empty Eggshell,
Where’s the empty eggshell Enoch Elkrig ate?

F     f

Francis Fribble

Francis Fribble

Francis Fribble figured on a Frenchman’s Filly:
Did Francis Fribble figure on a Frenchman’s Filly?
If Francis Fribble figured on a Frenchman’s Filly,
Where’s the Frenchman’s Filly Francis Fribble figured on?

G     g

Gaffer Gilpin

Gaffer Gilpin

Gaffer Gilpin got a Goose and Gander:
Did Gaffer Gilpin get a Goose and Gander?
If Gaffer Gilpin got a Goose and Gander,
Where’s the Goose and Gander Gaffer Gilpin got?

H     h

Humphrey Hunchback

Humphrey Hunchback

Humphrey Hunchback had a hundred Hedgehogs:
Did Humphrey Hunchback have a hundred Hedgehogs?
If Humphrey Hunchback had a hundred Hedgehogs,
Where’s the hundred Hedgehogs Humphrey Hunchback had?

I     i

Inigo Impey

Inigo Impey

Inigo Impey itched for an Indian Image:
Did Inigo Impey itch for an Indian Image?
If Inigo Impey itched for an Indian Image,
Where’s the Indian Image Inigo Impey itch’d for?

J     j

Jumping Jackey

Jumping Jackey

Jumping Jackey jeer’d a Jesting Juggler:
Did Jumping Jackey jeer a Jesting Juggler?
If Jumping Jackey jeer’d a Jesting Juggler,
Where’s the Jesting Juggler Jumping Jackey jeer’d?

K     k

Kimbo Kemble

Kimbo Kemble

Kimbo Kemble kicked his Kinsman’s Kettle:
Did Kimbo Kemble kick his Kinsman’s Kettle?
If Kimbo Kemble kick’d his Kinsman’s Kettle,
Where’s the Kinsman’s Kettle Kimbo Kemble kick’d?

L     l

Lanky Lawrence

Lanky Lawrence

Lanky Lawrence lost his Lass and Lobster:
Did Lanky Lawrence lose his Lass and Lobster?
If Lanky Lawrence lost his Lass and Lobster,
Where are the Lass and Lobster Lanky Lawrence lost?

M     m

Matthew Mendlegs

Matthew Mendlegs

Matthew Mendlegs miss’d a mangled Monkey
Did Matthew Mendlegs miss a mangled Monkey?
If Matthew Mendlegs miss’d a mangled Monkey,
Where’s the mangled Monkey Matthew Mendlegs miss’d?

N     n

Neddy Noodle

Neddy Noodle

Neddy Noodle nipp’d his neighbour’s Nutmegs;
Did Neddy Noodle nip his neighbour’s Nutmegs?
If Neddy Noodle nipp’d his neighbour’s Nutmegs,
Where are the neighbour’s Nutmegs Neddy Noodle nipp’d?

O     o

Oliver Oglethorpe

Oliver Oglethorpe

Oliver Oglethorpe ogled an Owl and Oyster:
Did Oliver Oglethorpe ogle an Owl and Oyster?
If Oliver Oglethorpe ogled an Owl and Oyster,
Where are the Owl and Oyster Oliver Oglethorpe ogled?

P     p

Peter Piper

Peter Piper

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled Peppers:
Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled Peppers?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled Peppers,
Where’s the peck of pickled Peppers Peter Piper picked?

Q     q

Quixote Quicksight

Quixote Quicksight

Quixote Quicksight quiz’d a queerish Quidbox:
Did Quixote Quicksight quiz a queerish Quidbox?
If Quixote Quicksight quiz’d a queerish Quidbox,
Where’s the queerish Quidbox Quixote Quicksight quiz’d?

R     r

Rory Rumpus

Rory Rumpus

Rory Rumpus rode a raw-bon’d Race-horse:
Did Rory Rumpus ride a raw-bon’d Race-horse?
If Rory Rumpus rode a raw-bon’d Race-horse,
Where’s the raw-bon’d Race-horse Rory Rumpus rode?

S     s

Sammy Smellie

Sammy Smellie

Sammy Smellie smelt a smell of Small-coal:
Did Sammy Smellie smell a smelt of Small-coal?
If Sammy Smellie smelt a smell of Small-coal,
Where’s the smell of Small-coal Sammy Smellie smelt?

T     t

Tip-toe Tommy

Tip-toe Tommy

Tip-toe Tommy turn’d a Turk for Two-pence:
Did Tip-toe Tommy turn a Turk for Two-pence?
If Tip-toe Tommy turn’d a Turk for Two-pence,
Where’s the Turk for Two-pence Tip-toe Tommy turn’d?

U     u

Uncle’s Usher

Uncle’s Usher

Uncle’s Usher urg’d an ugly Urchin:
Did Uncle’s Usher urge an ugly Urchin?
If Uncle’s Usher urg’d an ugly Urchin,
Where’s the ugly Urchin Uncle’s Usher urg’d?

V     v

Villiam Veedon

Villiam Veedon

Villiam Veedon vip’d his Vig and Vaistcoat:
Did Villiam Veedon vipe his Vig and Vaistcoat?
If Villiam Veedon vip’d his Vig and Vaistcoat,
Where are the Vig and Vaistcoat Villiam Veedon vip’d?

W     w

Walter Waddle

Walter Waddle

Walter Waddle won a Walking Wager:
Did Walter Waddle win a Walking Wager?
If Walter Waddle won a Walking Wager,
Where’s the Walking Wager Walter Waddle won?

X Y Z     x y z

X Y and Z

X Y and Z

X Y and Z have made my brains to crack-o:
X smokes, Y snuffs, and Z chews tobacco;
Yet oft by X Y Z much learning’s taught,
But PETER PIPER, beats them all to naught.

A HYMN.

I’m not too young for GOD to see:
He knows my name and nature too,
And all day long he looks at me,
And sees my actions through and through.
He listens to the words I say,
And knows the thoughts I have within,
And whether I’m at work or play,
He’s sure to see me if I sin.
Oh! how could children tell a lie,
Or cheat in play, or steal, or fight,
If they remembered GOD was by,
And had them always in his sight!
If some good minister is near,
It makes us careful what we do;
And how much more ought we to fear
The LORD who sees us through and through.
Then when I want to do amiss,
However pleasant it may be,
I’ll always try to think of this—
I’m not too young for GOD to see!

Anonymous. Peter Piper’s Practical Principles of Plain and Perfect Pronunciation. Philadelphia: Willard Johnson, No. 141, South Street, 1836. Print.

Vomiting, Barfing, Puking, …

I found this comment on a Facebook post:

I wish there was a barfing emoticon…

I wish there was a barfing emoticon…

It got me thinking, somewhere there needs to be a collection of barfing images you can paste into the comments section on Facebook and other places, even here if you want to.

So I went to Google Images and did a search. Here are a few that I found, cleaned up, edited, and resized, and some that I made myself.

Vomiting 001. Artist unknown. Found on Google Images.

Vomiting 001. Artist unknown. Found on Google Images. Click image to open it in a new window.

Continue reading

Cool Characters for Facebook, Etc.

𝕃𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝕒𝕥 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕕𝕠!   Lᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴏ!   Lоок дт шндт Ї cди dо!

I can make fancy characters to put in Facebook posts and other places where I’m limited to characters with no formatting options.

This is your basic set of alphanumeric characters: the capital letters A–Z, the lower-case letters a–z, and the digits 0–9. The conversions only work on alphanumeric characters.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz 0123456789

Most of the double struck letters are mathematical symbols, but they look cool.

𝔸𝔹ℂ𝔻𝔼𝔽𝔾ℍ𝕀𝕁𝕂𝕃𝕄ℕ𝕆ℙℚℝ𝕊𝕋𝕌𝕍𝕎𝕏𝕐ℤ 𝕒𝕓𝕔𝕕𝕖𝕗𝕘𝕙𝕚𝕛𝕜𝕝𝕞𝕟𝕠𝕡𝕢𝕣𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕧𝕨𝕩𝕪𝕫 𝟘𝟙𝟚𝟛𝟜𝟝𝟞𝟟𝟠𝟡

With the conversion to small caps letters, only the lower-case letters get converted to small capital letters.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ ᴀʙᴄᴅᴇғɢʜɪᴊᴋʟᴍɴᴏᴘǫʀsᴛᴜᴠᴡxʏᴢ 0123456789

The fake Cyrillic writing is just what it says: fake Cyrillic writing. It doesn’t really mean anything in Russian, Ukrainian, or any other language.

ДBCDЄFБHЇJКLMИОPQЯЅTЦVШЖЏZ двcdєfgнїjкlмиоpqяšтцvшжуz 012З456789

Type your message in the box below and click the Convert My Message button. Your message will be converted to all three styles.


 

Double Struck:

Small Caps:

Fake Cyrillic:

The Nintendo Glock and the Glocktendo

Precision Syndicate, LLC, a custom gun manufacturer in Odessa, Texas, modified a Glock to resemble the famous “Nintendo Zapper” gun that came with the original Nintendo Entertainment System. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your view of guns), it’s a one-off build and will not be produced for other people.

Nintendo Glock

Click on the image to see it full size.

They posted a couple of photos of the Nintendo Glock on Facebook and received so many hate comments that they issued a press release that said:

In light of the “Nintendo Glock” drama, we feel that the media and our fans need to know that this firearm will not be mass produced nor will it ever be. This is a one off custom build for a friend of ours. Do to the thousands of emails and messages we have received in the past 2 days we have been unable to contact everyone in a timely manner, please be patient we will get to you as soon as possible. Thank you all for your support! Oh, and please… keep your guns locked up and away from children, it’s common sense.

Precision Syndicate isn’t the first gun maker to make a real Nintendo Zapper gun, but this is the best one I’ve seen. Just don’t use it to play Duck Hunt.

If you need a Glocktendo, Retro Armory will do a full build to turn your Glock into a Glocktendo for $600.00. It’s not quite a realistic-looking as the Nintendo Glock, though. On their website they say, “All accessories will be Cerakoted in Glocktendo Red, the lower receiver will be Cerakoted in an 80’s Gray and the upper finished in a lighter gray.” You can also get a Glocktendo Slide Only.

Glocktendo Full Build Customer Weapon

Glocktendo Full Build Customer Weapon

Precision Syndicate and Retro Armory can be found at 208 E 2nd St in Odessa, Texas 79761, (432) 638-0242.

Glocktendo

Click on the image to see it full size.

Enrique Simonet — La Autopsia (1890)

Enrique Simonet — La Autopsia (1890 )

Enrique Simonet — La Autopsia (1890). Public domain. Click on image to view full size.

Enrique Simonet Lombardo (February 2, 1866–April 20, 1927) was a Spanish painter.

The full title of the painting is Anatomía del Corazón; ¡Y Tenía Corazón!; La Autopsia (Anatomy of the Heart; And She Had a Heart!; Autopsy). Simonet painted it in Rome in 1890. Signature, location, and date are in the bottom left corner: E. Simonet / Roma 90.


Wow! She really did love me with all her heart.

Enrique Simonet — Detail from La Autopsia (1890)

Enrique Simonet — Detail from La Autopsia (1890). Public domain.