Category Archives: Humor

Life Lessons

During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank, “Don’t move! The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you.”

• Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called “Mind Changing Concept.” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her, “Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!”

• This is called “Being Professional.” Focus only on what you are trained to do.

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school), “Big brother, let’s count how much we got.”

The older robber said, “You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!”

• This is called “Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications.

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him, “Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank.”

• This is called “Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage.

The supervisor said, “It will be good if there is a robbery every month.”

• This is called “Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained, “We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!”

• This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as gold.”

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

• This is called “Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks.

Simplifying English Spelling

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, S will be used instead of the soft C. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard C will be replaced with K. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

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Werner Heisenberg, Erwin Schrödinger, and Georg Ohm Were Traveling in a Car…

Werner Heisenberg, Erwin Schrödinger, and Georg Ohm were traveling in a car when they got pulled over. Heisenberg was driving. The cop asked him, “Do you know how fast you were going?”

“No,” Heisenberg replied. “But I know where I am.”

The cop said, “You were doing 55 in a 35 zone.”

Heisenberg threw up his arms and shouted, “Great! Now I’m lost!”

The cop thought that was suspicious and ordered him to pop open the trunk. He checked it out and said, “Do you know you have a dead cat back here?”

“We do now, asshole!” shouted Schrödinger.

The cop moved to arrest the three physicists, but Ohm resisted.

Further Reading

Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle
Schrödinger’s cat
Ohm’s law

Real People: Dr. Tara Cherry, Ob/Gyn

Tara A. Cherry, MD Obstetrics/Gynecology (Ob/Gyn) ARC South OB 4315 James Casey, Suite 200 Austin, TX 78745 (512) 383-9752

Dr. Tara Cherry.

Ladies, if you’re looking for an OB/GYN in the Austin area, you might want to try Dr. Tara Cherry.

Tara A. Cherry, MD
Obstetrics/Gynecology (Ob/Gyn)
ARC South OB
4315 James Casey, Suite 200
Austin, TX 78745
(512) 383-9752