Category Archives: Humor

What Are the Odds?

  Event Odds Source Being crushed to death by a vending machine 1 in 112,000,000 The Book of Odds by Amram Shapiro Going blind after laser eye surgery 1 in 5,000,000 London Vision Clinic Dying from a local meteorite, asteroid, or comet impact 1 in 1,600,000 National Geographic Being struck by lightning in a given… Read More »

Trivia for August 2019

A tree planted in memory of George Harrison, the lead guitarist of The Beatles, died after being infested by beetles. If the sum of the digits of a number is divisible by three, the number is divisible by three. Likewise, if the sum of the digits of a number is divisible by nine, the number… Read More »

Rudyard Kipling: “A Woman Is Only a Woman, But a Good Cigar Is a Smoke”

And a woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke. — Rudyard Kipling, “The Betrothed” in Rudyard Kipling’s Verse, Inclusive Edition, 1885–1918 The Betrothed “You must choose between me and your cigar.” Breach of Promise Case, circa, 1885 OPEN the old cigar-box, get me a Cuba stout, For things are running crossways,… Read More »

Peter Piper’s Practical Principles of Plain and Perfect Pronunciation (1836)

Peter piper, without pretension to precocity or profoundness, puts pen to paper to produce these puzzling pages, purposely to please the palates of pretty prattling playfellows, proudly presuming that with proper penetration it will probably, and perhaps positively, prove a peculiarly pleasant and profitable path to proper, plain and precise pronunciation.

He prays parents to purchase this playful performance, partly to pay him for his patience and pains; partly to provide for the printers and publishers; but principally to prevent the pernicious prevalence of perverse pronunciation.

Life Lessons

During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank, “Don’t move! The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you.” • Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called “Mind Changing Concept.” Changing the conventional way of thinking. When a lady lay on the table… Read More »

Simplifying English Spelling

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what… Read More »

Werner Heisenberg, Erwin Schrödinger, and Georg Ohm Were Traveling in a Car…

Werner Heisenberg, Erwin Schrödinger, and Georg Ohm were traveling in a car when they got pulled over. Heisenberg was driving. The cop asked him, “Do you know how fast you were going?” “No,” Heisenberg replied. “But I know where I am.” The cop said, “You were doing 55 in a 35 zone.” Heisenberg threw up… Read More »